Awesome Cocky & Funny Lines:

Line 1:

You: I like your hair!
Her: Thanks
You: Reminds me of a birds nest...

Line 2:

If it's a woman you only met once or twice, and your on the phone with her, use this one.

You: ..you know, I was telling my mom about you today
Her: Really?
You: *pause for effect* No, you dork. Why would I tell my MOM about you? Get over yourself!

Line 3:

Her: I went to the gym today!
You: *looking at her* Well you need to!

Line 4:

You: You remind me of my dog
Her: (playfully angry) Heeey!
You: What? I LOVE my dog

Line 5:

You: I'm so sick of all these girls looking at me like a sex object!

Line 6:

Her: Do you ever want to get married?
You: I don’t know, maybe if she’s rich. I’ll marry her, then divorce her a week later and take half her money.

Line 7:

Use this if she gives you a compliment or a small gift.

You: Look, just because you’re being sweet to me doesn’t mean I’m going to sleep with you. You thought I was THAT easy? Come on!

Line 8:

Use this if she makes fun of herself.

Her: I'm such a retard / My hair looks awful
You: Well, I didn't want to say anything

Line 9:

Use this when your walking down a crowded street with her.

You: Does it upset you to be walking with such a sexy man because nobody is looking at you, and everyone’s looking at me?

Line 10:

You: What makes you think I want to sleep with you??
Her: Whaatt??
You: I think you need to change the battery on your miracle ear!

Line 11:

If she gives you a compliment.

You: Look I know how you women are: First a little compliment, then phone number, then back to your place to check out your stereo…I’m not like that!

Line 12:

You: I like you hair
Her: Thanks
You: Imagine how good it would look if it was washed!

Line 13:

This one is great if you catch a girl staring at you for any reason.

You: Hi, I just couldn't help noticing you..*pause*..STARING at me! *pause again and let it sink in* Do you always maintain such strong eye contact? Or only with guys like me that you can't help it with?

Line 14:

If she does the same mistake over and over again, use this one.

You: I don't now what your problem is but I bet it's hard to pronounce

Line 15:

If she never stops talking. Remember to smile when you say this.

You: Do they ever shut up on your planet?

Line 16:

Use this if she keeps telling you you're rude.

You: I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

Line 17:

This is a really good general comeback line.

You: Go shave yourself

Line 18:

This can be used if she compliments you on your outfit.

Her: Your looking good tonight
You: You looking...um...your looking...Sorry, I can’t think of anything to compliment you on. You should work on that.

Line 19:

With a little bit of luck this one can be soo great.

You: You know my dad told me that if you ask a 100 girls to bed, one of them will say yes
Her: Haha, really....
You: You'll never guess what number you are
Her: Hahaa, stuupid / does that line ever work on girls?
You: You calling my dad a liar?

Line 20:

Use this if she doesn't get a joke or doesn't understand something simple.

You: (serious look) Your blond aren't you? (for girls with a different hair color)

Line 21:

Her: I like you
You: I like me too!

Line 22:

After you first kiss a girl, be the one to end the kiss then say this with a straight face.

You: Allright that'll be a dollar fifty
Her: ??
You: (shocked expression) You didn't think I was free did you?